Friday, April 5, 2013

poem #5: mental storms




my mind scatters like dust to the winds
blowing in tumbles
erratically following careless gales
looking for a place to settle down
a homeless wonder
picking up bits of debris
pieces of the love in me
wicked zephyrs 
whip through the thin layer
i'm barely wearing
this aimless walk through
darkened recesses
proves to be lonely
a savage safari of
tangled emotions and thoughts
attempting to choke me out
yet, i am armed
i carry a sword of words
testimonials of cause and effect
the story of "this"
a train of thought
serving as a path beaten 
one step ahead of mine
to keep me from 
getting tangled in grape vines
on this sojourn
so worn
from being torn
my mind is battered
beaten by the weathered trials
bashed against
tender senses
needing to heal
from sticks that stuck
and stones thrown
with perfect aim
for
intended pain
my mind roams 
to far away places
to deal with where i stand
all i want
is to rest
find a place of calming airs
flattened terrain
just right rays of shine
convenient shade 
a soft place to lie
and a piece of mind
peacefully mine
sheltered from the weathered storms
mental storms


© 2008 Kween Kiwi 

poem #4: no o'clock in the morn




the 3 o'clock hour
strikes
and hits real hard
i
just
cant
sleep
out of my mind
out of my body
experiencing
tears torn in my astral fabric
of repetitive dreams
cycling underwater
backstroking through clouds
ass backwards
feelings so real
that i awake
tears like flowing milk
without my honey
no o'clock
in the morning
eyes wide
seeing nothing
except
the lonely...
except
the void...
except
me...
here
to travel
through mental states
searching for a place
to live without you
i
cant...
i only pray
that every day
gets me closer
to closure
nearer
to understanding
further
from the frustrating
flustering
fucking
pain
i beg
for sleep
in the wake of you
i crave
to never yearn
never long
never need
never...
fucking...
care...
that you're gone
somewhere
not caring
about me
the 4 o'clock hour
hits
and i'm still here
waiting
for time
to fast forward
just so
i can sleep


© 2008Kween Kiwi 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

poem #3: subconsciously




subconsciously,
i've begun to crave him
i must want his love
i didn't know i wanted his touch,
his smile,
to open me back up
to daydreams
and reanimate
the long sleeping love for love,
seemingly tucked away
with years
of relationships
and disappointments
then,
 out of a subconscious nowhere
astral dreams
of marriage
and declarations of loving me
until our souls no longer linger...
begin to prod my desires awake
i've begun to search him
in crowds
and aisles
and lots
to see if his eyes
will explain the why
...why is it that these thoughts
have arrived
and from where
did they derive?
i need to grasp
the yen for him
why is it
i want him to profess his love
to declare
with poetic flair...
that the ones before
were throw-aways
from bad catches
because...
wherever he found himself before,
 life was feckless
no depth
and no height
not quite dark,
yet not enough light
...and there in lies his quest
to disrupt my last two night's of rest
holding a torch
of the love i lost
a dream's guide
to find the love inside
an astral hand
to lead me to love
emerging tangible
and fulfilled in his eyes
and the enveloping hug
that has clearly been
the catalyst to my dreams

...good night.




poem #2: love loss



i can't quite remember
the residual heat
from extinguished embers
the smoky reminder
ashen chips
from a once raging fire
instead,
i'm still...cool...glass
reflecting light
transparent
smooth
...water rolling off me
a surface unchanged
unmoved
until bluntly cracked
or under pressure
i remember nothing
of passions engulfing
wild and reckless
just caution,
a flame-less candle
lit...no danger of growing
no danger of losing control
...my heart is absent
of the feeling
that stirs beneath the breast
and gives life to bated breaths
and boils up
like water
touching lava
causing seas unrest...
...i have not selected
not to recollect
i want nothing more
than for my heart to crackle
with erratic blaze
and give spring to my step
balm to my face
and love in my heart...
...it just seems that,
i'm to be abject to this memory loss...
love's memory loss



Monday, April 1, 2013

National Poetry Month: poem #1



so, I just finished a challenge on my Kaleidoscope blog. check out 30 Days of Days and be sure to catch other challenge-takers on the left side under "dem challenge takers".  seeing that it is National Poetry Month, I figured perhaps NOW would be the time to pursue some inspiration.

i've been lacking in this department...not writing poetry...for some time now. it's definitely overdue. so, here's my first poem...a freestyle.


who i am

if ever there was truth
to the assumption of who i am
i'd be lord over many minds
more hearts
and a few hands
i'd be a big deal
a glorious display
a kween without a throne
i'd be a catcher's mitt,
a wide receiver
for all the shade that's been thrown
if i were to manifest
the hateful words
used to describe my vibe
i'd be a everything,
but a child of God
if i bought into the lies
see, 
some have marked me victim
because i dare to respond with "ouch"
some have marked me sneaky
because i don't air my dirty laundry out...
i'm naive (which is funny, since i'm also deceptively evil)
i'm petty (which causes guffaws, since i'm supposed to be too good to people)
i'm everything
and nothing
i'm a liar
hated for the truth
i'm spoken of in whispers
my flaws supposedly proof
if i believed myself
to be deserving of what i'm served
i'd dig the ditch
lie down in the bitch
and cover myself with dirt
but, i know better
i be a kween...so fuck what'chu heard

Sunday, February 3, 2013

the house on the bayou: a very very short story




the rain falls thunderously...like a round of clapping angels. the spanish moss...dripping, like freshly washed witch's hair. destined to be wet, the swamps smell of dampened life. the swamp livens with insects chirping, snakes hissing...things moving. water gets disturbed...splashes that leave you wondering what's lurking beneath...

there in the underrated beauty, the marriage of greenery and liquid quiet...lies the easiness of life. the slow rolling of the day...pots brewing, perfuming the air with the smells of gumbo...or perhaps mumbo jumbo. see, every pot isn't boiling over with shrimp etouffee. some pots...cauldrons, even...are where remedies steep. things hand-picked from the very waters that seemingly walk at night in mysterious myth and rooted belief...the watery, translucent form of the mind's fears.

there in the lost paradise of the creole...lies caradean's shanty. painted pretty in mauve with white trim, that's turned gray in the moist air. shutters hang on by rusted nails committed to the facade of a sweet neighborly haven. some would dare to be drawn to the uncharacteristically breath-taking pots of perennials that line the pier leading to caradean's front door screened in by a small sitting area that looks frighteningly normal. they just might regret it, though.

if one were to knock...they'd be greeted by the small framed woman of 53...still youthful in her rounded face and features. the contrast...her whitened hair and a contorted body, bent like the branches that hover over her one story shack. perhaps the reaping of spells cast that marched their way back to her door in the middle of the night after her protective candle had blown itself out.if one were to enter caradean's place...they'd see a world of difference in comparison to the unassuming look of homeyness outside. hanging everywhere are herbs and plants...some dried and others growing and moving. jars of preserved parts. books old with yellowing and rippling
pages...fighting the binds...written things eager to dance off the page and into the spirits of whomever dare to sit at caradean's table.

"what i'm gone do for you, child?" she may ask. be quick to speak, for when a pause is introduced...it's all the moment she needs to read your REAL intentions. your heart's true worries and desires...

"oh, you want a mojo? you want a MAN...you want him bad. hahaha...i got somethin' for you..." she'd say. after rustling through the old and shiny mahogany box beside her...she'd pull out all manners of things. stones, feathers, dried root...even pieces of metal. some thing to give you a spiritual placebo.

see...she's just an herbologist. she's an acupuncturist. she's a spiritually adept and psychically connected creole woman. past that...she's fooled herself into believing her spells work. she's convinced herself that her magic is black with deliberate fingers that prod it's intended. the truth is, she's bent from the loneliness, the life of a pariah, ousted for her beliefs and love of all things supernatural. so when she hands you over the stone that reacts naturally to your clinched fist. or the root that naturally soothes, or that concoction made from focus and less, hocus...she's really just giving you the power. you walk away...into the bog's air with hope and conviction...and your future changes just because of caradean's house. the house on the bayou.

Friday, November 9, 2012

my people's music




my people's music,
be jammin
it's sacrilegious in it's form
sin sittin' next to gospel
guitar rocking next to tambourines
humming hymns
on beats of blues
set on strings of jazz
and that piano...well, bang on brotha...
you can hear the porch jive
and liquored lyrics
on high falsettos
and the drums?
well...
go back to Africa
and Brazil
and them islands
pick one
because it's all us
all shades of brown
getting down
with sounds emanating
from a thump off of a circle of souls
dating BC...
"before cd's"
i hit play
and my emotions sway
i weep,
at how deep
music has me
how could it not though?
doesn't it make you wanna lay in it?
bathe in it?
take a deep breath
immerse yourself underneath
the clicks of cymbals
that tick with toe taps
and...
well...
yea...
my people's music
has healing properties
moving through muscles
revving hearts
and purifying minds
a placebo from peabo...
a shot from chaka...
a pill from jill...
a flow from freddie...
and everything is alright.
my people's music...
it's a soul thing.

in the butterfly net...

i ink...i flow...i pen,
my soul, my words, my zen