poem #3: subconsciously

subconsciously,

i've begun to crave him

i must want his love

i didn't know i wanted his touch,

his smile,

to open me back up

to daydreams

and reanimate

the long sleeping love for love,

seemingly tucked away

with years

of relationships

and disappointments

then,

 out of a subconscious nowhere

astral dreams

of marriage

and declarations of loving me

until our souls no longer linger...

begin to prod my desires awake

i've begun to search him

in crowds

and aisles

and lots

to see if his eyes

will explain the why

...why is it that these thoughts

have arrived

and from where

did they derive?

i need to grasp

the yen for him

why is it

i want him to profess his love

to declare

with poetic flair...

that the ones before

were throw-aways

from bad catches

because...

wherever he found himself before,

 life was feckless

no depth

and no height

not quite dark,

yet not enough light

...and there in lies his quest

to disrupt my last two night's of rest

holding a torch

of the love i lost

a dream's guide

to find the love inside

an astral hand

to lead me to love

emerging tangible

and fulfilled in his eyes

and the enveloping hug

that has clearly been

the catalyst to my dreams

...good night.