Wednesday, July 24, 2013

perfectly alone

i can remember
even now
how before we were split
from one soul
into endless pieces
how the kind tone
in your love
gave me eagle wings
placed posture in my stance
gave grace to my dance
and added immeasurable time
to my life span
i haven't forgotten,
the way your praise of me
was full-bodied
genuine and far-reaching
your genius my genius
me learning, you teaching
you everything
i wasn't seeking
the first
to ever stretch your hand
past the skin on my breasts
wanting mostly
just to tap on my soul
stoke its fires
and be what i needed
to keep the pyres heated
your valiance
and chivalry
protection and proclamation
given so easily
no thought required
no return desired
so, with all those things
nestled sweetly between
then and now
how is it,
that the source
of these zealous declarations
are trapped off
in painful echoes
in my mind
from your lips
with no thing offered
with no thing sacrificed
with no urgency applied?
how could you love me so, me so
and leave me
teetering on a pedestal
with no way down
no room for a companion
on this idyllic plateau
of your esteem
and left with
the fear of heights?
what am i to do
with all i remember
and no way to forget
what i once had
but, cannot seem to touch?
...i want to know
how do i fall from this high place
and in love again?

© 2013 Kween Kiwi 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

kiss of change

when he met me
i wore red lips
and fingertips
my hair was as high as my esteem
my clothes
hugging me
a taste of my embrace
he met me,
my laugh loud
with heart skips
and deep soul dips
and if there was anything
i didn't embody
he wanted to lend me
starting with my body he reached for me
caressed my hand
and tickled my heart
laughed me into a tizzy
and won me clean
the more we made love
and saw each other naked
the more he wanted to cover me
he smudged my lip stain
i was too seductive
he took down my hair
"wear it like this"
the tips of my fingers and toes
he wanted bare
so i did...
my wardrobe loosened
lost color
...and life
yet, when the light left my eyes
he resented me
he was disgusted
and my power over him
turned off...
he tried to make sense
of why my kisses weren't the same
why my hold no longer held
why my face had no frame
and yet it was me who'd gone limp...

he changed me
to tame me
to keep me...he censored me
snuffed the fire inside
by masking the outside
...and he hated me for it

i should've fought the mold
bucked what i was told
i pacified to satisfy
i was the one who needed love the most
yet still dispensing it like liquid soap
even though,
the more i gave
the more unclean i felt

after him,
no other can change my colors
knock off my crown
or change my gear
from jeans to gowns
my laugh will echo
made of composed rhythms
i will be draped with self worth
and wrapped in dignity
with my all,
i will remain
heated with the passion
of red lips
and a spirit that's free
no one's love
is worth...changing me

© 2013 Kween Kiwi 

in the butterfly net...

i ink...i flow...i pen,
my soul, my words, my zen