try for love ~ an etheree

i got this from 1manview of Shades of Erotic Poetry. he writes erotica and did this while challenging his readers to do it, too. for those of you who have never heard of it, an etheree is a form of syllabic poetry (similar to a haiku) where each line is done in syllables of 1-10...you can even go backwards and do 10-1. this is mine...


give
just once
give it up
give into it
quit running from it
pretending you don't care
masking your fear of love's hold
faking it, but not making it
choking off your own intake of breath
all to say you're in love...when you're not
saying what it is...is enough now
when it could never make you whole
when it barely touches you...
not like i touched you then
and live in your mind
right this moment
in this time
always
try!
don't lie
let it in
hold your breath, babe
and submerge yourself
even if it's not me
even if her name ain't mine
open up and give her a drop
and you will slowly see it wave in
and your giving will create your living...
yes
i do
love you still
in this way...
universally
as a heart to a heart
and my heart wants you happy
then again i could be so wrong
trapped off in my own idea of us
with it being me who needs to let go...

imprints

impressed...
deeply
emblazoned
embossed
indelibly laden
deliberately stamped across...
impacted
like fawn tracks
across freshly fallen snow
indented for emphasis
like paragraphs that flow
the way
water erodes rock
until there is little left
but ridges of phantom levels
of water's past depth
like Crayola lines on old walls
a chronicle of a child's growth...
can be
so very lasting
like a painter's acrylic strokes
like fossils
that tell of
a butterfly's
prehistoric life
like steps by climbers
atop mountains high
on adventurous hikes
etches of inscriptions
breeching past the confines
of fibers weaved
into paper rawly unlined
...and so, is the love of him
scored into the heart of me
like nickeled wire
with fused ends
he's left a mark
only i can see
dug beneath what makes sense
this pock in my life
can't be filled
or replenished
it's the scar...
thought healed
trekked faintly across skin
those are the imprints
your presence
has left deep within

short ode to hesitation

i've started and stopped
began and paused
found the words
and misplaced them
with my peace of mind...
i still can't find...
i'm sure it's not
for lack of content
that my post box is...empty
if for no other reason
then the potential backlash
from potential wounded hearts
and suffering egos at stake...
so,
i backspace
erase
strike through
deliberate frustrations
forsaken in fear of indignation
folks in their feelings
about feeling like
my words are like...
expressly for them
so,
i virtually crumple and toss
out perfectly good thoughts
overwrought with fret
about
who is
watching...
reading...
microscopically
breaking it all down
::eye roll::
i suppose
when i consider penning my heart
and begin to compose
that i should consider ME
and be okay
with the melee that may
spill over
so,
i started with this...
and perhaps i won't stop
until it's all free
and my burdens are lifted
blown lightly
adrift...
yet, i still...hesitate

poetic effect

i write
i read
i live
i love...poetry
when i write...
i like to nuzzle inside of my work
shouldering up
and in between the meaning
and the depth
when i'm reading one
i want to nestle
between the innuendo
and the nuances
the pulse
and the flow
i want to get it
even if i've never gotten it
if it's never touched me before
i want it to pat me down
and steal a caress off my heart
i want to get that ::thump::
in my chest
that shortens my breath
and releases my tears
gives me pause for thought...
a cause to ponder...
i want to be
chin deep inside of the poetic swim
saturated in the intent
of the scriber's pen
for me...
poetry,
is like an immersion into the soul
it's the universal meeting place
for what's common between us
unbeknowest to us...
when i write...
i write to the beat of my heart
i am ever present within every point
space
word
ellipse
serif
stroke
and on each side
of every double entendre...
i am in every inked path
of every cursive line
every dotted "i"
and crossed "t"
when i read
i want to be the gist
i want to be the expression
i want to be the scene defined
the emotions red and raw
gaping and throbbing
i want to read
as i write
and fall in love
over and again

i want to finish
changed
affected by the poetic effect...
loved on by the the syllabic staccato
the perfect pitch of
the moments created
in instant imagery
i want to feel it
i want to be it
i need to be poetry...in effect.

love's sea

love said to me...
"follow me...
into the abyss,
plunge willingly into me...
trust me..." love said
love lured me
with a crooked finger 
and a knowing wink
then love said...
"i know you cannot swim...
but place your lips upon mine...
and i shall breathe for you"
love lifted me by my pits 
in the liquid swish
and carried me
weightlessly
with it
love said,
"i love you...
so come be free, 
stay and be
a wave in my sea"
i looked upon love
with eyes wet...
but perhaps
in the abyssal mess
love could not tell
why my eyes did swell
...and perhaps
with my eyes 
seeing nothing
but love
i spoke not
but embraced love 
with a hug
and love could not see
that i was struggling to breathe
...that the water in my eyes
was not from love's sea
but the asphyxiation
from love's clench
which caused my heart to wrench
i wiggled free
successfully, 
asking love,
"please release me...
let me float
alongside thee...
not encumbered
by the pressure of 
relying on you solely...
so deep, i cant see"
love assented,
relenting it's hold on me
love said,
"be WITH me...
willingly...
along side me"
and together
we paddled 
above the abyss
and below the surface's kiss
where light lives
luminously
giving way to a tandem wade
in love's sparkling sea...

grand beauty

she loved beautiful...
beautiful scents,
people with beauty apparent...
hats she wore with regalness
proudly donned for God's house...
[i wonder how big her hat collection is in His kingdom] 
she loved her family...
beautiful to her...
even in it's dysfunction
her lineage was golden
and cherished as such
we came from beauty...
so,
she HAD to have been born
on a beautiful day
sprung forth
in a ceremonial way
canaries chirping
a beautiful serenade
the epitome of sophisticated taste
style she was born with
class not taught or for trade
so beautiful...
that even in her passing
her love has stayed
she loved beautiful...
the scent
the life
the way...
even the day,
we put her away...
was uncharacteristically beautiful...
spring nudging winter
for the honor of shining light
on the beauty of her
one last time in this earthly place
for where she lay...eternally
is a beauty she'll always display
directly under a perfect tree's shade
she loved...
her beautiful babies
and their babies
and she loved
my maybe babies...
the ones she knew
would look like the her in me
and be part of a line
of beautiful and fine...
MY grandmother loved...
and we loved
and STILL love her...
beautifully

beautiful evil~throwback 2007

her sashay casts a spell

...makes hearts palpitate

she lures with a crooked finger and a naughty wink

her lips part to sing words into the ether

landing on the inner ear of the opposite sex 

like the spark of a wand

her brew is a mix of love and kink

a handful of heat

with a dash of purr

and smidgen of mmmmm

she smells like heaven...

addictive as hell

her smile could be your sunrise

or your nightly demise

killing you softly til morn

when she awakes you with her siren's horn

milking your mind, body and soul

as you lie still 

giving in freely, yet against your will

ecstasy in your eyes

tells your heart's content

not evil in intentions...

just scary how she holds you

your attention...

your thoughts...

your body's stimuli

her laugh makes your body respond

the thought of her makes you orgasmic

her words sound like heaven's harps

and sinister music all at the same time

she's not bad

just a bad bitch

with that mmmmmm you come running for

that purr that comes from her pleasure

and her kiss...

well, lets just say

you will be hers

eternally...that is

no matter where you go

she cant be denied 

that beautiful evil 

...the sin being

not being able to have her

or leave her alone

love run afoul

scented pain
curiously reminiscent of burnt love
my senses
bullied by
bitters
jolting me out of a nod
you evade me
your anger the only reminder
fiery like your denial
scented like cheap corner incense


sometimes,
it smells like charred hopes
mixed with floral memories
the insane mix
of desire
and despair
cloaked in the citrus notes
of orange-infused funk
dipped in acidic promises
...it causes my nose to burn
bringing droplets stained
with blackened emotions
and rotted numbness


on random nights
i awake to a smoky air of anxiety
haunting  me with the choking odor
of rejection stinking a lot like garbaged smiles
and wasted joy
sheets soiled with cold sweat
pillows unclean from stifled cries
i can smell your indifference
and it makes me gag
audibly
i'm sickened by the aromas of
bloody lies
filthy motivations
putrid tendencies
of numerous possessions
of numerous skirts
...desperation,
the foulest of stenches
wafting through distance
and plugging my nostrils
with hate-filled odor...


this pain...
embedded deeply within my fiber
renders the smell
of blooming onions
sun-dried and shriveled
steamed in rays of heated passion
unattended
abandoned for greener pastures...


the scent of pain...smells like you.

i miss you like...

I miss you, like...


I miss you like crazy...
I miss you like an addict missing a high
Like clouds missing from the sky
Like a piano missing keys
Like islands missing a breeze
I miss you like the juice from a cherry
Like the sweet from sherry
Like grace from a dance
Like love from romance
I miss you like a bird misses her song
Like a sunset at dawn
Like a night without stars
Like a rap with no bars
I miss you more than I want
I'm tempted to front
But I miss you like mad
Like the love I never had
Like laughter never heard
Like a poem without a word
Like a party with no fun
Like a race no one’s won
I miss you like a tree with no leaves
Like vinyl records with no sleeves
Like toes with no French
Like a game with the star benched
I miss you so much I lose my breath
I miss you baby, I miss you to death...
I miss you like crazy
...come back

ebb and flow

the way the tide reaches for the shore 
pull me into you 
wash away the boundaries
engulfing me in your cool 
make scenic fantasies with me 
compose the sounds of tumultuous calm against each other 
mix your liquid abstract of life
with the steady beauty of mine 
let us consummate our flow to the moon's glow 
and sparkle in the sun's light 
wash over me with waves of gentle care
taking with you that which i don’t need
or that which you do...
the dance we do
is fluid and constant
being yin and yang,
give and take
i run deeper than what's seen
i reach past  the edge of you
and become your foundation
becoming the basin that cradles you
let us be cool and warm
let us be movement and stillness...
let us be the ebb and flow of love

i want

i want someone

with a backbone

made of a boomerang

that says, "made for kali"

that way...

wherever he goes...

he'll always return to the manufacturer

i want someone who will say,

"if i'm gonna be a fool...

...i wanna be YOUR fool"

unafraid of razing through walls

facades

and shields of perceived perfection

meant to deflect displays of affection

i want someone who

doesn't count every thing we go through

as the last thing we'll experience together...

i want someone who won't count my words against me

deficits of disagreement

the truth that hurts

and the feelings that need validation

that i'll never be

"one comment away"

from the end of us

saying that thing

and it's echo living beyond the love we have

turning into finite silence

i want someone who if he walks away

the spiritual tether between us

will bring him RIGHT back

i want someone whose fear of what it LOOKS like

never overwhelms  the truth of what it IS...

man enough for the woman i am

and boy enough to stay innocent with me

i want someone who...

even though he has met women

with more this

or less that

they never compare...

i am the voice his soul heeds

and the kiss his body needs

i want someone...

who wants me...

so much...

that when he's even thinking of leaving...

his mind denies him the vision of him without me

i want someone that...

even after falling for the best of me...

he falls even harder for the worst of me

don't you want someone,

whose essential self...ALONE

has the power to will you to betterment?

someone whose love,

heals you

makes your weaknesses blend

with the strengths

and gives your smiles longevity?

someone who knows exactly what you are...

and isn't trying to augment you

into what you aren't?

i want someone

who wants me, too...

not the me they've imagined

or the me they've settled for

i want someone...who knows

that we'll always be a work in progress

and that no one has the power to dismember

what we've built intently...

what do YOU want?

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

butterfly love

you're gone
AGAIN...
stepping back into the shadows
melting into the scenery
only YOU have done this
gotten used to...
moving in and out of my life
settling in deep
burrowing underneath my pain
to unearth my passions
and then killing yourself
to break free
in the beginning...
you sweetly placed a kaleidoscope of butterflies
through my navel
and into my belly
them...responsive
to you...
your voice...
your laugh...
your energy's caress
you created this place
for your effect on me
and i didn't want to let it go...
~sigh~
once
and then again...
you left
and they followed
taking the breath from me
as they burst through
simply obedient to their creator...
where'd you place them?
whose being flutters to your charms?
who is living off the residue of my love for you?
whose heart has wings i wore before?
NOW...[damn you]
my belly is empty...
i'm hungry...
yet, not sated by physical sustenance
or any other
my core is,
left rumbling by flirtations
and invitations
and attempted subjugations
from others trying to own my love
but it is you...
and what is most disturbing
is that you
aren't...and was ever
meant to stay
your fly by night love
with it's stay for ever feel...
was always meant to go
you only know how to lay the love down
you have no clue
how to keep the love anchored
thank you, though...
it felt like heaven
but it's gone...
AGAIN...
bye butterfly love

i am

I am deep
I am shallow
I am blissfully merry
I am melancholy blue
I am an example
I am a hypocrite
I am a liar
I am a champion for truth...


I am smart
and dense
silly
then intense
growing
and regressing
easy-going
and oppressing
I am creative
and lacking ideas
gung ho
and unmotivated to tears
I am insightful
and introspective
I can be blinded
and fearful of reflection
I am doubtful
and assured
I am as lively
as I am bored...


I am someone...
and no one at all
a dot in this universe
infinitesimally small
I am meek
and queenly
I reign
and get rained on
I am the master
and the pawn


Weaknesses
Strengths
Accents
Demerits
I am all of these things...
learning and teaching daily
never to be defined by anything
but the love I embody from Him...


I am someone and no one
Loved and Hated
Blamed and Absolved
I accept who I am
and reject what I'm not
what is immovable
unchangeable
nonnegotiable
is that...I am alive.

body language ~ throwback 2007

Fingers tracing parts,

parts being caressed...

Legs wrapped and tangled,

my hair tickling your chest...

Hands interlaced,

palms meeting to brace...

thighs touching sensually, 

while we try to maintain our pace...

We switch without a hitch,

and my backside is just below your navel...

Your thumb glides over my spine,

you feel my skin softer than sable...

Your strong hands holding my shoulders,

the feeling is getting intense...

My legs begin to tremble

as I try to hold you in suspense...

The rush of your hands,

to hastily find a spot,

you grab hold of my breast to keep your pace on lock...

Your love flows free

your body goes limps on me...

My body curls into yours

as we...slowly...try...to...breathe.

quiet screams

She opened her mouth
Silence flooded in and down her throat...
choking out her wails
She tried again,
but the rhythmic noise of indifference 
hushed her with a cold and unclean finger
She dug deep,
from the beginning of her...
where she originated from,
a heavenly place
where she was fashioned from power
and tried again
Out came a cry that pierced souls,
deafened ears
and evoked tears.
She said,
"I'm here"...
The room filled with whispers of collective banter
wondering why she needed to announce the obvious
Her eyes swelled with salty drops
Her throat shrunk
cutting off her bated breath...
The forceful entity of oppression
worked diligently to quiet her...
"I'm here..."
she uttered weakly,
her eyes so much louder than her chords could carry...
The room hushed
Then grew loud again
Turning to one another
carrying on...
unconcerned
or perhaps...
unable to fathom her heart


{Sometimes...
acknowledging something
means a realization
that you're part of the problem
In turn,
knowing you're a factor
in a spiritual equation,
means changing for the solution...}


...They turn away
leaving her pain throbbing
intensifying
At the apex of her pain unbearable,
a light shines
a ray of resolution
visible to only her
She clears her throat...
swallows the pain
aligns her back to the zenith
and says,
"Goodbye..."
With the sound of the door
closing behind her gently
the room is alerted to her absence...
Some continue chattering...never missing a beat
Some sit in awe of what's lacking with her departure...
Some...
hearing her cries in delay...
fall down in tears of their own
regretful of not being able to hear them before...
She said, {with her departure}
"I'm here...still"