Wednesday, April 27, 2011

no words







I wrote this today in an email to one of my SiStars who seemed to be having a hard time. I had JUST reported to another friend how I'd been virtually uninspired for over 3mos...and needed to get back on. For this poem to unfold so spontaneously and bring understanding to someone in emotional need...was just perfection.




silence from you lover, 
is like obscenities yelled evilly at my ear
the harsh winds
of your bated breath
from stifled words
cause blemish
to my sensibilities
resistance,
to extend your soul out to me
is like a short hit to my heart
i seize in shock
and fall from hurt feelings
fall from the foundation
no longer holding me up
if you spoke
thunk of the simplest insult
even an exhausted sigh,
i might
not feel like...
our love has died
i might
not feel like
this is bye
if your mouth
parted,
with space for words to wander
over the fullness of your lips
that i love to kiss
and touch the tip
of your tongue
that i long to suck
that it just might not suck
that you're silenced...
oh, love...
how i wish you'd
cuss me
fuss me
touch me with
disgust for me
rather than cringe
and recoil
from the sight of me
the idea
that maybe,
you love me more
than this silence you've
pledged yourself to...
my ears are
ringing
with the shit i'd
rather
you say
than the closing of your heart
or the shortness of your compassion
or the limited concern for my cry...
i,
feel like,
why?
what have i done,
SO badly...
what crime have i
committed
other than kneeling in submission
to the love that beckons praising
with my adoration
adulation
and hips' gyrations...
what have i done
other than
nod yes
when my ego and pride
yelled no
and lay bare
when my "self"
warned me to don layers
for my preservation
is that my crime?
or is my crime...
milking the man in you
that would rather roam
and giving you thoughts
of one home
procuring for you
asylum from the things
that cause you to mask your
true heart
it's desires
the fears
and failures...
[sigh]
love...
your silence
has brought me to
this soliloquy of
frustrated and flurried
thoughts
all because
rather than speak your
pain
you inflict silence onto
mine...
and it hurts.

6 comments:

Alovelydai said...

Oh Kween you have such a gifted way with words.

This here:

if your mouth
parted,
with space for words to wander
over the fullness of your lips
that i love to kiss
and touch the tip
of your tongue
that i long to suck
that it just might not suck
that you're silenced...

is Perfection!!

Thee_Kween said...

Thank you SO much. That means a million coming from such a stellar writer such as yourself. :)

The God'ess said...

I know these words all too well. Beautiful, Beautimus.

LYKEBUDDA said...

*bravo my sister*

Thee_Kween said...

@God'ess~ I think it's a fabric we've all worn...makes us itch like crazy!!! *burning mine* LOL

@Budda~ thank you, sis...:)

1manview said...

Sometimes we use silence to cover up the truth, because we think the truth will hurt to much while exposing who we truly are. Not realizing the silence is cuttng deeped into uur souls then the truth would have... Very poetic and deep write thee_kween

in the butterfly net...

i ink...i flow...i pen,
my soul, my words, my zen