beautiful evil~throwback 2007

her sashay casts a spell

...makes hearts palpitate

she lures with a crooked finger and a naughty wink

her lips part to sing words into the ether

landing on the inner ear of the opposite sex 

like the spark of a wand

her brew is a mix of love and kink

a handful of heat

with a dash of purr

and smidgen of mmmmm

she smells like heaven...

addictive as hell

her smile could be your sunrise

or your nightly demise

killing you softly til morn

when she awakes you with her siren's horn

milking your mind, body and soul

as you lie still 

giving in freely, yet against your will

ecstasy in your eyes

tells your heart's content

not evil in intentions...

just scary how she holds you

your attention...

your thoughts...

your body's stimuli

her laugh makes your body respond

the thought of her makes you orgasmic

her words sound like heaven's harps

and sinister music all at the same time

she's not bad

just a bad bitch

with that mmmmmm you come running for

that purr that comes from her pleasure

and her kiss...

well, lets just say

you will be hers

eternally...that is

no matter where you go

she cant be denied 

that beautiful evil 

...the sin being

not being able to have her

or leave her alone

love run afoul

scented pain
curiously reminiscent of burnt love
my senses
bullied by
bitters
jolting me out of a nod
you evade me
your anger the only reminder
fiery like your denial
scented like cheap corner incense


sometimes,
it smells like charred hopes
mixed with floral memories
the insane mix
of desire
and despair
cloaked in the citrus notes
of orange-infused funk
dipped in acidic promises
...it causes my nose to burn
bringing droplets stained
with blackened emotions
and rotted numbness


on random nights
i awake to a smoky air of anxiety
haunting  me with the choking odor
of rejection stinking a lot like garbaged smiles
and wasted joy
sheets soiled with cold sweat
pillows unclean from stifled cries
i can smell your indifference
and it makes me gag
audibly
i'm sickened by the aromas of
bloody lies
filthy motivations
putrid tendencies
of numerous possessions
of numerous skirts
...desperation,
the foulest of stenches
wafting through distance
and plugging my nostrils
with hate-filled odor...


this pain...
embedded deeply within my fiber
renders the smell
of blooming onions
sun-dried and shriveled
steamed in rays of heated passion
unattended
abandoned for greener pastures...


the scent of pain...smells like you.

i miss you like...

I miss you, like...


I miss you like crazy...
I miss you like an addict missing a high
Like clouds missing from the sky
Like a piano missing keys
Like islands missing a breeze
I miss you like the juice from a cherry
Like the sweet from sherry
Like grace from a dance
Like love from romance
I miss you like a bird misses her song
Like a sunset at dawn
Like a night without stars
Like a rap with no bars
I miss you more than I want
I'm tempted to front
But I miss you like mad
Like the love I never had
Like laughter never heard
Like a poem without a word
Like a party with no fun
Like a race no one’s won
I miss you like a tree with no leaves
Like vinyl records with no sleeves
Like toes with no French
Like a game with the star benched
I miss you so much I lose my breath
I miss you baby, I miss you to death...
I miss you like crazy
...come back

ebb and flow

the way the tide reaches for the shore 
pull me into you 
wash away the boundaries
engulfing me in your cool 
make scenic fantasies with me 
compose the sounds of tumultuous calm against each other 
mix your liquid abstract of life
with the steady beauty of mine 
let us consummate our flow to the moon's glow 
and sparkle in the sun's light 
wash over me with waves of gentle care
taking with you that which i don’t need
or that which you do...
the dance we do
is fluid and constant
being yin and yang,
give and take
i run deeper than what's seen
i reach past  the edge of you
and become your foundation
becoming the basin that cradles you
let us be cool and warm
let us be movement and stillness...
let us be the ebb and flow of love

i want

i want someone

with a backbone

made of a boomerang

that says, "made for kali"

that way...

wherever he goes...

he'll always return to the manufacturer

i want someone who will say,

"if i'm gonna be a fool...

...i wanna be YOUR fool"

unafraid of razing through walls

facades

and shields of perceived perfection

meant to deflect displays of affection

i want someone who

doesn't count every thing we go through

as the last thing we'll experience together...

i want someone who won't count my words against me

deficits of disagreement

the truth that hurts

and the feelings that need validation

that i'll never be

"one comment away"

from the end of us

saying that thing

and it's echo living beyond the love we have

turning into finite silence

i want someone who if he walks away

the spiritual tether between us

will bring him RIGHT back

i want someone whose fear of what it LOOKS like

never overwhelms  the truth of what it IS...

man enough for the woman i am

and boy enough to stay innocent with me

i want someone who...

even though he has met women

with more this

or less that

they never compare...

i am the voice his soul heeds

and the kiss his body needs

i want someone...

who wants me...

so much...

that when he's even thinking of leaving...

his mind denies him the vision of him without me

i want someone that...

even after falling for the best of me...

he falls even harder for the worst of me

don't you want someone,

whose essential self...ALONE

has the power to will you to betterment?

someone whose love,

heals you

makes your weaknesses blend

with the strengths

and gives your smiles longevity?

someone who knows exactly what you are...

and isn't trying to augment you

into what you aren't?

i want someone

who wants me, too...

not the me they've imagined

or the me they've settled for

i want someone...who knows

that we'll always be a work in progress

and that no one has the power to dismember

what we've built intently...

what do YOU want?

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

butterfly love

you're gone
AGAIN...
stepping back into the shadows
melting into the scenery
only YOU have done this
gotten used to...
moving in and out of my life
settling in deep
burrowing underneath my pain
to unearth my passions
and then killing yourself
to break free
in the beginning...
you sweetly placed a kaleidoscope of butterflies
through my navel
and into my belly
them...responsive
to you...
your voice...
your laugh...
your energy's caress
you created this place
for your effect on me
and i didn't want to let it go...
~sigh~
once
and then again...
you left
and they followed
taking the breath from me
as they burst through
simply obedient to their creator...
where'd you place them?
whose being flutters to your charms?
who is living off the residue of my love for you?
whose heart has wings i wore before?
NOW...[damn you]
my belly is empty...
i'm hungry...
yet, not sated by physical sustenance
or any other
my core is,
left rumbling by flirtations
and invitations
and attempted subjugations
from others trying to own my love
but it is you...
and what is most disturbing
is that you
aren't...and was ever
meant to stay
your fly by night love
with it's stay for ever feel...
was always meant to go
you only know how to lay the love down
you have no clue
how to keep the love anchored
thank you, though...
it felt like heaven
but it's gone...
AGAIN...
bye butterfly love

i am

I am deep
I am shallow
I am blissfully merry
I am melancholy blue
I am an example
I am a hypocrite
I am a liar
I am a champion for truth...


I am smart
and dense
silly
then intense
growing
and regressing
easy-going
and oppressing
I am creative
and lacking ideas
gung ho
and unmotivated to tears
I am insightful
and introspective
I can be blinded
and fearful of reflection
I am doubtful
and assured
I am as lively
as I am bored...


I am someone...
and no one at all
a dot in this universe
infinitesimally small
I am meek
and queenly
I reign
and get rained on
I am the master
and the pawn


Weaknesses
Strengths
Accents
Demerits
I am all of these things...
learning and teaching daily
never to be defined by anything
but the love I embody from Him...


I am someone and no one
Loved and Hated
Blamed and Absolved
I accept who I am
and reject what I'm not
what is immovable
unchangeable
nonnegotiable
is that...I am alive.