[sigh]

[sigh]
high anxiety sets in,
shoulders tense
head down,
worries up...
my attempts to smooth away
the kinks in my neck,
fall short...
my fingertips
not long enough to
trail my spine's length
i'm in heat
skin overly sensitive
to flashing thoughts
hands cupping,
kneading and needing...
wantonly wanting...
receiving nothing
[sigh]
performing moments
that haven't happened,
reliving the ones
too faded
to satisfy the urgent stirring...
falling in and out of love
with the imagined touches
and the deep thrusts
someone pushing me
over the edge of my ecstasy
past the point i can't see...
[sigh]
it ain't enough...
what is keeping me up
past dawn
has little to do
with the cold side of the bed
and everything to do
with the warmest part of my heart...
i yen for soul mate zen
the center of me
created to be
half of love's pinnacle
is restless...
[sigh]
it's like,
the closer a presence nears...
the louder the "silence" becomes
the tingling,
vibrates highly
almost void of sound
or human exposition
a sign of impending arrival...
it's like,
your spirit's tuning fork
quivers...
[sigh]
he's coming,
and the sensors
located at the base of my spine,
nape of my neck,
center of my cleave,
the circumference of my navel...
is sensitive
to rawness
and all i can do is...
[sigh]

fall in love with me

fall in love with me

my whole self

not fragments

broken into the

most palatable...

eat me up!

love the crumb of me

the sum of me

the hum

beneath the surface of me

fall IN love with me

my sensitivity

my desire for

your exclusivity

the divine

and incomparable

God in me

fall in love...deeply

with ME

the attitude

that i sometimes can't adjust

the once in a full moon

over the top lust

the more than usual need to bust...~whew~

my need to be right

even when i'm wrong

the moments

when i just need

to be left alone

love ALL of me

fall in LOVE with me

don't recoil from what i can teach

don't flinch at how deep i can reach

don't ice down your heat for me

your fear to be seen

being crazy in love with me...

fall in love, baby

the way i would with you

in love with your truth

not the scripted

and prompted you

i love the you

that's meant for

God, you and your Ruth...

fall in love with me

the one whose love encompasses

vows written

and love unspoken

that touches on notions

and dormant dreams awoken

the one who with pride

your chest puffs than rises

as your "single' knot unties

fall in love

not stumble

or trip

for it's a misconception

that those falling in love

hit pavement with a split

it's a voluntary

RECLINE

back into the arms

of a true love's hold

not some plunge to death

not a nude dive into cold...

fall in love with me...

and i promise...to catch you

dear love...a letter to the "him" that is mine.

As promised to my SiStar, Caprice (author of Starr's Sanctuary), I re-penned my love letter to my love...whoever he is. She wrote one to hers and I mentioned I had written one a while ago. I had one in a journal...and though at the time it seemed like the words I'd use...time has passed. My soul has burgeoned past older lines like bleeding acrylics on canvas. What I wanted then...is a little different (but not much) than what I want now...here it is:




sweetest love,


i think of you all the time. when i see lovers, i see us. when i see babies...i see ours. i think of the man who won't ever need prompting to love me. the man who will never need to be reminded that i am his and he, mine. we will love, laugh, live, teach, learn, cry, sleep, dream, be...in tandem. no "mine" or "yours" just OUR...us...we...mr. and mrs. wonderful ;)


i know that you will understand my most sensitive needs...and never make me feel criminal for being so. i know you will remember all of the things i tell you...and present them to me in surprises. i know you will feel my heart beating...even when we're in separate spaces. i know you will sense my despair...and throw on your lover's cape, swoop in...and love me back to my glory. you'll never see my weaknesses as weaknesses...just moments where a little more lovin' is required. you'll know, like i know...that there is never a moment when we no longer need to "prove" our love to each other...because the desire to show love will be a joy. you will know me...like no other.


for all that you are to me...i will be to you what shine is to sun. you will have a rib AND a spine in me. your dreams will be as important to me as they are to you...because i'll know that when YOU'RE happy...so am i. you will know that, even though i CAN assemble a piece of furniture...i'll let you get bragging rights *lol*. i will give you all of me...knowing that you'll relish in the ownership. i'll be letting all within sniffing range know...who daddy is. in turn...i will never have to be concerned about others...for my name is written in flames of love afire...right across your being. a picture of you and i will be a prized possession of yours. just as well...the love planted deeply inside of me will be as obvious as 9 months of pregnancy.


give me you and i'll give you me...i want the good, bad, ugly, indifferent, the shit and the blossoms. i want to be your BEST friend. don't hide from me. lay naked for me, trusting me with your vulnerability. we'll be enough for each other...needing no one else to confide in or lean on. let's be a force. a power of love unparalleled. let's be...the couple lovers love and haters hate. let's be the ones that bring love back...fuck sexy (even though we'll make that over, too)


um, i snore...i can be a tad OCD. i like cuddling, but i need my space. i love the food network (let's get 2 tv's), i want a cat named Wasabi (don't forget to bring home the allergy meds). i'm not "scared" of spiders...but they unnerve me. i AM scared of snakes (not yours, lol). i'm silly as FUCK...but, you'll love it. i'm a word whore...so be prepared to play scrabble...and get pummeled. hehe. i need sheets over me...even in the hot ass summer...so no blanket hogging. i like to kiss your chin, so don't deny me...i AM gonna eat your neck. i will enjoy just you sitting between my legs as i "sky write" across your back.


i want to go places, experience things, places...life...with you. show me what i've never seen...teach me what i didn't know i needed to know. teach me you...let's love, baby. always...


love, the pet name only you call me :)