wait just a minute, brotha

this poem is in response to a spoken word piece you can find here by mike geffner.

i was a tad heated by his need to justify his choice to be with non-white women over sistas, by vilifying sistas (while also mocking a typified version of a black woman). anyway, without further ado...

now...now...my "brotha"
let's not play the blame game
...seems to me
like you're extra salty
because you bit off more than you could chew
you chose a rat
from the hood
that wasn't no good
looking for that ever elusive
and much talked about good good...
lemme guess?
she was fine?
light- skinned divine?
did she have that cola bottle shape?
was she the one all the girls loved to hate
[making her the envy of all your friends]
giving you rights to brag
on that hottie you bagged...
yet, you thought that trite shit
wouldn't come to an end?
hmmm...
lemme see,
you paid them bills
because her head gave you chills
and though you lived with your mama
you were a good man, still...
and you're tight because she preferred thug drama?
...but it's "US" though, right?
so, you chose this ho
who equated ass with cash
who chased thugs with cars...
am i right so far?
and...according to your mocking
popped gum while talking...
and you're blaming "SISTAS"...
for this bullshit, mister?

no sir, you may want to stop right there
let's be 100 and let me make this clear...
just say you fell in love
no explanation required
don't shift accountability
onto a sea of sistas' lack of humility
because,
while you were macking ms. tacky
and chasing big booties and just-right thighs
some geeked out fat girl
was praying you'd see her past her size
and perhaps,
her hair wasn't as long
her personality not as strong
you had on shades to look through her
but want US to throw rose-colored glasses on
so we can "get over"
that you chose peach over brown?
i could respect your choice
to be with whomever you want
far easier if you weren't
trying to simulatneously front
making hoodrats and hos
your scapegoat for your woes
when the truth is this...

you chased what you saw
seeing no flaws
then you cried foul
after finding your supposed diamond
was just a bit too raw
YOU chose the woman
who used her body for barter
YOU chose the woman
who used you for sugar, daddy...
now you wanna get cute
because you're dating beth, jane and maddy?

now, you're all
"fuck you and fuck her, too"
because your daydreams of rocking her world
were over so soon
due to you never being a glimpse in her moon
and as you were watching her,
someone more suitable was watching you
whom YOU didn't see
in all the revelry...?
you wanted the trophy so badly
that you may have run past one
willing to run the ball beside YOU, sweetie
so, don't blame ALL black women
because you chose the WRONG black woman
if you like peach over brown
well then "get on down"
but don't box us in
to this group you resent
among us are the ones
who WOULD have given you a chance
had you not been wrapped up
in a bad romance...
we all have been through
i've been hurt, too
but, I keep hope alive
for my ebony king to arrive
no one chased you off
you ran in the other direction
and guess what?
it's NOT a direct reflection
because you get to love...who...you...choose
just don't make this about win or lose
and blame everyone else...
just say you love who you love
and keep your excuses to yourself


© 2013 Kween Kiwi 

kiss of change

when he met me
i wore red lips
and fingertips
my hair was as high as my esteem
my clothes
hugging me
a taste of my embrace
he met me,
my laugh loud
booming
with heart skips
and deep soul dips
and if there was anything
i didn't embody
he wanted to lend me
starting with my body

...so he reached for me
caressed my hand
and tickled my heart
laughed me into a tizzy
and won me clean
the more we made love
and saw each other naked
the more he wanted to cover me
he smudged my lip stain
i was too seductive
he took down my hair
"wear it like this"
the tips of my fingers and toes
he wanted bare
so i did...
my wardrobe loosened
lost color
...and life
yet, when the light left my eyes
he resented me
he was disgusted
and my power over him
turned off...
he tried to make sense
of why my kisses weren't the same
why my hold no longer held
why my face had no frame
and yet it was me who'd gone limp...

he changed me
to tame me
to keep me...he censored me
snuffed the fire inside
by masking the outside
...and he hated me for it

i should've fought the mold
bucked what i was told
instead...
i pacified to satisfy
i was the one who needed love the most
yet still dispensing it like liquid soap
even though,
the more i gave
the more unclean i felt

after him,
no other can change my colors
knock off my crown
or change my gear
from jeans to gowns
my laugh will echo
made of composed rhythms
i will be draped with self worth
and wrapped in dignity
with my all,
i will remain
heated with the passion
of red lips
and a spirit that's free
no one's love
is worth...changing me


© 2013 Kween Kiwi 

poem #11: it's like that?

so
you are
just going to
keep it this way?
you're okay with the silence?

you...
don't see
how things could've
at one time...changed
had you just said something?

"I"
have to
ALWAYS speak first
the one to change
apologize, clarify and then justify?

I
am sick
to damn death
of folks creating space
and being angry about it later!

Am
I not
worthy of you...
your love and concern?
your loyalty, remorse, compassion or time?

OR
is this
a show of
your own personal guilt
and reticence to claim accountability?

just
make sure
you tell it
the way it happened
including your own part, too...

DON'T
make me
your scapegoat excuse
and label me bad
because I served zero fucks...

...and yea...it's like that...and that's the way it is.


© 2013 Kween Kiwi 

more than

i love you more than
the stretch of my arms
or the capacity of a human heart
or even...
the span of an angel's wings
i love you more than
my mind's scope
or my soul's hope
more than the furthest reach
of the longest rope
i love...
more than love can be defined
more than the infinite
space of time
more than a sky's height
or an Alaskan night
more than
and fiercer than
and greater than
a lioness' fight
and even then
its rougher than
but easier than
a kayo on fight night
that is
how...
i love you
the stretch of imagination
and a dream's escalation
the force and pull
of a planetary rotation
with showers of fire
and atmospheric changes
resulting in novas
and supernovas
of super loving explosions
*catching breath*
is a mere display of
how
much
i love you...
you...have...NO...clue
that i love you
more than the shells that hold us
and the experiences
and life
thats taken hold of us
more than the eons
that separate our past lives
more than
all the love stories ever scribed
more than
the heaving cries
of broken hearts
or
stuttering mouths
in awe of art
more than the echoing pains
of a child's birth
more than
the heat contained
at the core of the earth
when i say,
i love you...
know that
its more than
even "I" know...

fall in love with me

fall in love with me

my whole self

not fragments

broken into the

most palatable...

eat me up!

love the crumb of me

the sum of me

the hum

beneath the surface of me

fall IN love with me

my sensitivity

my desire for

your exclusivity

the divine

and incomparable

God in me

fall in love...deeply

with ME

the attitude

that i sometimes can't adjust

the once in a full moon

over the top lust

the more than usual need to bust...~whew~

my need to be right

even when i'm wrong

the moments

when i just need

to be left alone

love ALL of me

fall in LOVE with me

don't recoil from what i can teach

don't flinch at how deep i can reach

don't ice down your heat for me

your fear to be seen

being crazy in love with me...

fall in love, baby

the way i would with you

in love with your truth

not the scripted

and prompted you

i love the you

that's meant for

God, you and your Ruth...

fall in love with me

the one whose love encompasses

vows written

and love unspoken

that touches on notions

and dormant dreams awoken

the one who with pride

your chest puffs than rises

as your "single' knot unties

fall in love

not stumble

or trip

for it's a misconception

that those falling in love

hit pavement with a split

it's a voluntary

RECLINE

back into the arms

of a true love's hold

not some plunge to death

not a nude dive into cold...

fall in love with me...

and i promise...to catch you

my place

every man wants a strong woman

a do-right,

multi-tasking,

super woman...

he wants the strong backbone

for his household's constitution...

the strong back,

for his late night

pipe-laying
that sweet in the night
restitution..

the strong emotions

to handle his tempermental mood

who can swing back and forth

like an empty swing

in a scenic neighborhood

he wants her,

strong-minded

to tackle tasks

at whiplash speed

and on demand needs

he wants her,

strong like stone tears

working like deliberate gears
longevity like years on years...
wearing many hats

mommy this

baby that

mrs...do it now...

he wants her strong,

like harriet tubman

sojourner truth

angela davis

assata shakur

and sophia before ms. millie...

but wants her,

like a quiet force...

betty shabazz

coretta scott-king...the dream weaver's kween...

celie in the kitchen

shug in the bed

and nikki giovanni in his head...

and STILL wants

buffy the body...

halle the sweetest berry

rich like oprah...

because...well,

God FORBID, he gotta provide...

so he's gotta have a ride or die

who got her own...

he wants her strong enough

to take this dragging by her hair

into his mannish lair,

but, still be modern when he feels like...

chillin...

so, my question is MAN...

when can "I" be weak?

be indecisive,

selfish,

afraid to change...

commit...

submit to love's hit...

why can't "I" be the damsel in distress

and YOU wear the letter on your chest...

why can't "I" be the one to cry,

and complain about the world...

why can't "I" walk away from the kids

and start a new life at a whim...

rebuild my fable

with the next guy and pretend

that it was

all

YOUR

fault...

why can't "I" just lie still

in your arms

feeling wrapped up

and safe?

why?

tell me...

because...truthfully,

all i want

is to be a woman...

not strong,
not independent,
not almighty,

not super...

just a woman...

...for once,
can I have...MY place?

butterfly love

you're gone
AGAIN...
stepping back into the shadows
melting into the scenery
only YOU have done this
gotten used to...
moving in and out of my life
settling in deep
burrowing underneath my pain
to unearth my passions
and then killing yourself
to break free
in the beginning...
you sweetly placed a kaleidoscope of butterflies
through my navel
and into my belly
them...responsive
to you...
your voice...
your laugh...
your energy's caress
you created this place
for your effect on me
and i didn't want to let it go...
~sigh~
once
and then again...
you left
and they followed
taking the breath from me
as they burst through
simply obedient to their creator...
where'd you place them?
whose being flutters to your charms?
who is living off the residue of my love for you?
whose heart has wings i wore before?
NOW...[damn you]
my belly is empty...
i'm hungry...
yet, not sated by physical sustenance
or any other
my core is,
left rumbling by flirtations
and invitations
and attempted subjugations
from others trying to own my love
but it is you...
and what is most disturbing
is that you
aren't...and was ever
meant to stay
your fly by night love
with it's stay for ever feel...
was always meant to go
you only know how to lay the love down
you have no clue
how to keep the love anchored
thank you, though...
it felt like heaven
but it's gone...
AGAIN...
bye butterfly love

the porch of mr. and mrs. love

[welcome to 143 happy court]

~a colorful, vibrant row of flora dot the stoned path to a covered haven~

i see us
sitting in one of those swings for two
laughing at the passing folks
loving them all the while
sipping on spiked lemonade

feet  propped on each other
swept up in the whispered creak
of our own slow rocking
a golden blaze in the background
giving off
shaded shadows
of hanging plants
fence slats
and morphing topiary
growing and shrinking,
telling the time of day
door open...
screen closed...keeping out the flies
music playing in the house
just loud enough for us to hear
maybe we'll catch a groove
and a spontaneous two step
until our aches sat us down
laughing at the reality
that we don't got it like we used to...
well, you don't...lol
i see us dissecting the daily news
you wanting the political and editorial pages
passing me the comics, lifestyle and entertainment
you giving me that,
"you need to keep up with the world" look
as i laugh that you just don't give up
we split the crossword, though
cracking jokes in between
'cause
we don't have the sense God gave a squirrel
i see us feeding strays...
pets AND people
doling out spiritual affection
while slicing freshly baked confections...
we're those old timers...
that everyone stops in our gate to talk to...
"hey mr. and mrs. love"
they think we're cute...
and we are
{smiles and winks}
we go back and forth
trading town news
family pride,
offering glasses of whatever's cold
them,
getting a dose of love from "the loves"
feeling a little closer to the future of happiness
just because of us and the constant we are...
counting on us to be right where we are
we care for our garden...
i water
you till
i plant
you weed
we harvest...vases of gorgeous blooms
at the center table in our home
we share the sun's awakenings
the dozing of the day
the sparkled cover of the night
all on the porch
sharing sunset days
thinking back
on the dreams we once shared
that have come true
or changed with time
loving the breezy feeling of this love
carried on the air around this home
caring little of else
except
being right where we are...
sitting on the porch...
mr. and mrs. love

inactive love

inactive love...
similar to a volcano
sitting dormant
burning...
simmering...
seething...
breathing heat
and doing nothing
pretending to spout
threatening to erupt
but, nothing...
causing the earth around it to blister
noxious gas
killing all things living
steaming off full pools of water
drying out watering holes
and tear ducts
nothing left
but this "volcano"
big and strong
built on eons of
festering energy
stored up passion for air
made of all the things a volcano embodies
but doing nothing...
just a mountain
that used to be a mole hill
inactive...
lying...
dormant...
stagnant...
promise of a catastrophic event
able to level off all surrounding fauna
entities and beings
able to,
mow down all things within reach
of it's base
able to claim it's earth
with molten fires of possession
but wont...
it's just..."there"
dormant
asleep
cascading above
towering sinisterly
threatening to remind the tender earth
that it belongs to it's fervent fires
making it feel
seem
act
like a connective thing
a duo of power
but knows
the weak "volcano"
is afraid...
afraid to burst over
in display
showing the world
what the earth does for it
how, because of the earth
it can spew love
in full show
allowing all to see
who owns it's core
and THAT...
scares a mountain
SHITLESS
so there it sits...
inactive...
dormant...
doing nothing...
the power to consume
and meld the earth to it
joining them forever....
yet accepting quiet
sitting on
banking on 
inactive love
forever...

it ain't love...

love hurts...
"they" say
but nah...
it ain't love
it's the one swift motion
of a judas' stab
mighty enough
to pluck your spine apart...
disc by disc
...it's the hot sting
of pristine gloves
smiting you
challenging you
to a duel of heart and mind
...it's the phantom pain
of shins
recently kicked
chins checked
mouths dropped
it ain't love...
love don't lie to you
knowingly letting untruths
cascade off tongues
like venom
...love don't
option you out
to check for greener pastures
while shitting on your lawn
love don't...
promise maliciously
smiling while plucking you
of your hope
it don't dumb down
spread thin
share or lend
the love meant for you
nah...
that ain't love
love don't get mad
shut out
stomp out
begrudge or
misjudge you
mistreat
speak ill
disrespect
cheat on
beat on
take for granted
deceive
make excuses
belittle or
forget you...
that ain't love
love makes time
changes
enhances
and finds peace in you...
love don't hurt...
it hurts NOT to love
it hurts to LOSE it
it hurts to think about it escaping you
love don't hurt...
but the illusion of love
under the guise of
anything BUT love...does