short ode to hesitation

i've started and stopped
began and paused
found the words
and misplaced them
with my peace of mind...
i still can't find...
i'm sure it's not
for lack of content
that my post box is...empty
if for no other reason
then the potential backlash
from potential wounded hearts
and suffering egos at stake...
so,
i backspace
erase
strike through
deliberate frustrations
forsaken in fear of indignation
folks in their feelings
about feeling like
my words are like...
expressly for them
so,
i virtually crumple and toss
out perfectly good thoughts
overwrought with fret
about
who is
watching...
reading...
microscopically
breaking it all down
::eye roll::
i suppose
when i consider penning my heart
and begin to compose
that i should consider ME
and be okay
with the melee that may
spill over
so,
i started with this...
and perhaps i won't stop
until it's all free
and my burdens are lifted
blown lightly
adrift...
yet, i still...hesitate

ode to an open heart

have you ever spoken with someone and found yourself feeling...no really...deeply empathizing with them? shuttering at every confession and admission as if it's your own journey of discovery? well that is what happened to me tonight...and this poem was born from a kindred pain and agony...laced with a love longing. here's to the spirit behind this ode...

here i lay

my burdened soul out

primed for the taking

risking abandonment

heartbreak

stagnancy

and unrequited affections

...i propose

a soul-fitting

a joining of us

the intended amalgamation

of a man and his rib

i bare to you

scorching tears

pleading for fulfillment

flailing arms

reaching for steady hands

uncertain eyes

searching yours for a yes...

...that you get it

me...and this

psychic transmission

too lengthy for letters

too precious for words

that if my soul

has to go one more moment

unconnected from yours

that i'd surely

certainly...

disintegrate

or...

at least it feels that way

because, 

i've never felt

so over the moon

universally lifted

and simultaneously petrified...

ever!

you bring to me

ecstatic electricity

these solar flares off my aura

and then

shivers of fear

that can cause

the not-so-average kween

to fall to her knees

in true epic surrender

...with this love averred

comes an unparalleled fright

that i'll never truly have you

...that the final vision

i have of us

will give way

to agony and loneliness

that the one whose vibe

is my impetus for morning's joy

will leave me

in a pool

of melancholy reflections

standing alone

in cold emotion

untouched and unloved

still...

i am here

alight in your palm

entrusting my gentle heart

to an open fist

praying you wont

crush my wings

hoping you'll love me

for,

everything i am

and am not

wanting to be

what you desire so wantonly

that you'd hurdle

over hills

and shake off chills

to lay open your heart...

next to mine